Bachelor v Old Maid: The unspoken stereotyping of women's timeline

Bachelor and Old Maid

If you are in your late 20s to early 30s and a male you are a what they called bachelor but if you are a female you are already an old maid and that's one of the greatest examples of stereotype in women's timeline.


I lost count how many times I heard and encountered that word in my existence. Even as a kid I keep hearing phrases and directions about how girls are supposed to act.

 Keep your thighs together while sitting.

Make yourself presentable.

Don’t play outside too much.

Don’t go near boys all the time.

I’ll admit that I am one of those girls who followed suit without knowing why. They keep telling things like how a girl like me should act and move. If I’m being honest, there’s nothing wrong with that since they only want what they think best for me/us.

What bugs me now is not knowing the answer to a question I haven’t been able to ask.

That question is why.

Why do I need to keep my thighs together while sitting when all the boys sit freely even in public transportation as if they own the vehicle? Manspreading.

Why can’t I stain my shirt when all the other boys have stains on them on a daily basis and people just disregard it because they are boys and it's normal?

Why can’t I play outside too much and why does scaring my legs feel like a heinous crime?

Why does being close to boys have different connotation?

Maybe it’s the jealous part of my the brain that keeps bugging me with a lot of questions but I would like to believe that it’s the part of my journey in seeking gender equality that brought me to this realization.

I remember this instance while I’m on my 5th grade. It was lunchtime and my classmates were out playing while some sat on this wooden table outside our room. One of our subject teacher was talking to my classmates (for you to easily understand it let me tell you that I was not really part of the group our teacher was talking to, I was just near them) and they are somehow the popular ones and does good in class. Since I sat near them I heard our teacher told/predict that he is sure that the three of them will probably not be in a relationship until after they finish studying (In Filipino, sigurado sya na hindi magbo-boyfriend yung tatlo) and they laugh and agree to our teacher. And then suddenly they noticed me and say ‘How about her?’ And then to my surprise, he said ‘Ah hindi din yan… hanggang high school.’ (Oh no she wouldn’t too… until high school.)

And then they laugh… and I followed suit thinking it's the right thing to do.

Up until this day, it angers me.

Why do people think that women have this specific timeline? Why are they so sure that a certain type of girl will be this and that? Are we pre-destined to our path or something?

As a woman during their teen years it seems a big deal getting in a romantic relationship but even bigger to conceive. People will scrutinize you as if you’ve done something wrong, giving birth at an early age seems like a crime. They’ll eye you differently as if you are a speck of dirt or something.

I have so much respect with teen moms. They fought battles no one will truly understand. They surpassed caring for themselves and the baby inside of their womb for 9 months mainly with a side dish of dismayed people around them but they keep fighting even though some of them single-handedly took the responsibility alone.

They received stinky eyes and called words that are not necessary, flirts, whore, and a lot more. They were seen for what they are not and not acknowledge for what they truly are, as a mother.

And then later I realized that people suddenly changed. Those who are single now get the pressure they did not sign up for. People’s attention is suddenly directed at them asking them why they are still single, when are they going be in a relationship, when are they getting married, and a lot more.

What an ironic event, right?

I feel like it’s unfair since men don’t really get that kind of attention that a lot of women are enduring. It seems like they see women as a fruit that can only be useful best at a certain time or period and when that period is over women are mere laugh stock.

Come on, pick a ripe wife. Build a family. Stay in love.

The society keeps on dictating us when’s the perfect time to get married or conceive as if the main purpose of being a woman is to be a mother and a wife when every person’s default purpose, regardless of gender and sex, is to be a good, caring, and loving human being regardless of your ability to conceive and raise a child or regardless of your marital and financial status.

Women are more than just a baby-making machine. Their bodies are not oven where you can decide whenever you want to cook a bun inside.

You're only good and decent to their eyes for not getting involved in a romantic relationship for a certain period of time, after that you're just an old maid, a spinster.

Why do people think so highly of single men and called them 'bachelors' as if they have this superpower? Why is it different when it comes to the female counterpart, whom most of the time called 'old maid'?

Stop treating women as an investment and retirement plan factory.

We will be who we want to be when we want it, in our own terms.

Respect everyone's timeline regardless of their gender.

0 $type={blogger}