shesaidgoforit

MUSIC DISCOVERY: ANDY POLK

By Teresa Gueco - April 03, 2020

Can you imagine a life without music? I don’t think that’s possible. Even in film industry silent films still use sounds to portray and execute the story they wanted to tell, and probably one of the greatest example for this kind of film is the newest award-winning silent film movie entitled A Quiet Place from Paramount Pictures production.

As cliché as it may sound music has really been one of the reasons why we live and connect. It has been with us ages and had traverse and survived different era while evolving its style.

Today, we are blessed with a lot of talented artists who are brave enough to pursue music that is rebelling the mainstream. We should be thankful that a lot of platforms are already at the disposal of a striving musician, producers, and songwriters. In a snap of their fingers they can upload originals and covers that can reach millions of people. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, Youtube, and Soundcloud , those are just the main apps that we use but for sure there are hundred more of the same kind.

A while back I decided to take a social media detox in terms of my ‘following’, I decided to unfollow models, celebrities, and influencers. I realized that I only follow those people because I wanted to be updated with their lives and I unconsciously absorb the things I see and perceive it as ‘the perfect life’- which gave me a lot of troubles accepting my flaws and self-worth. I realized I was unconsciously comparing my life with theirs.

After my unfollowing spree I had great discovery of many things. I found new artists to listen, writers to watch out for, and musicians that shares original music rather than OOTDs.

It was a refreshing moment, something changed.

One of my greatest music discovery is Andy Polk.

Andy Polk is an American singer/songwriter who currently released his EP entitled 27,84. The EP contains 8 songs in total which can be classified as electro-pop.

What I love about this EP is his lyrics together with bop rhythm. To be honest this EP kinda feel personal and raw that sometimes I feel like I’m trespassing his personal space but I’m also thankful at the same time because the lyrics speaks to me in some levels.

I love how deep and raw the lyrics are and how he’s able to lift the mood of the song by making it upbeat, he was also able to keep the emotions intact using the stress in his voice.

This EP feels like his life’s reel, he opened up real big. On his previous EP you will noticed that it’s more about relationships and the likes but this EP feels like a journal- his diary poured and coated with rhythm. He talked about getting lost, the anxiety of getting old and meeting people, and getting his heart broken.

My favorite song on his 27,84 EP will probably be “Twenty Three”. I actually like all the songs on his EP. I relate to I/Keep/getting/l0st..Oo (that's how the title is spelled and stylized) because there are times where you will feel defeated, lost, and feel like giving up. ‘Wait’ is a good one as well. The society keeps on telling us that we should wait for our time, but sometimes we just can’t help but question when it’ll come to us. When are we going to have our own time?

Twenty Three is my favorite because I am nearing my 23^rd birthday when I forst heard it and I feel like I still have things to see, do, and say. I am dreading the time of my birthday because I feel like people eyes me and have questions that I don’t want to answer and I feel like my birthday should be just a regular day. I don’t want to be alone but I don’t want to be with people who will only ask questions I’m not ready to hear or answer.

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Dear Vita

Dear Vita, I'm always waiting for that shoe to drop

By Teresa Gueco - March 28, 2020

Recent events made me more skeptic about everything that there is. People, opportunities, career, and other stuff gave me doubts which I cannot comprehend.

I was waiting for that drop thinking maybe if that happens then I can move on and wouldn’t have to worry anymore since there’s no more shoes that will fall. I was stalling my progress in fear and in hope to move on all together. I was hoping to experience all of it all at once so I can move on and progress once and for all.

I was so blinded by the question ‘Why prolong the agony?’ and I was waiting for all of it to happen all at once that I forgot I was the one prolonging the agony, the hurt, and the suffering.

I was patiently waiting and I forgot to acknowledge that maybe that’s all that I have to face in the meantime. Maybe the shoe wasn’t supposed to fall right now.

One thing I realized while waiting is that you are faced with your biggest problem until you aren’t anymore because another problem will come and then it’s now your biggest worry, so technically maybe the shoe will never fall.

It’s like waves. It will never stop, you just have to endure one wave at a time, stronger than others at times, but will always be there.

I was waiting for that giant wave thinking that after it hit me then maybe I can sail safely and freely.

I was wrong.

Writing this down and realizing how stupid my mind works make me want to hide. To be fair, I was just being scared and that’s very normal. Thank you very much. But still petty tho.

I was standing on the shore toughening myself out waves after waves but it was no use.

I have to move. I have to remind myself that there’s no shoes holding me down.

It’s hard breaking out from a cycle of fear when fear is evident. It’s hard fighting of fear, doubt, and insecurity when you don’t have the strength enough to get out of that wormhole.

It’s a process.

It’s a learning experience, one that you should accept and acknowledge because there’s no other way out but forward.

The waves will be stronger but so are you.

Listen to Dory and just keep on swimming.

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Adulting

Let’s talk about health and accidents

By Teresa Gueco - March 21, 2020

Let’s face it, we have no control with our lives. We don’t know when a disease or accident might hit us and what’s alarming is the saying ‘Filipinos are one hospitalization away from debt and poverty’.

It’s true tho, we are one accident away from being buried in debt because of many factors. Low income, no savings, no health care insurance, and sometimes leniency.

In this post I’m going to share to you tips or ways to help yourself be prepared for future diseases and accidents.

SETUP AN EMERGENCY FUND

This is a no-bargain tip. You have to have an emergency fund not just for accidents but also for other types of calamities that you will face, take for example the COVID-19 pandemic where we were forced to have a house quarantine.

Ideally an Emergency Fund is an amount of money equal to a 3-6 months’ salary to sustain your need in case you can’t work for a few weeks or months.

But for the record, setting up an Emergency Fund is not easy and you have to acknowledge that. When you decided to set an emergency fund you have to recognize other factors. Start it on your next pay out, save 10% of your salary, or even less if you really need it for other stuff. Pay out after pay out you’ll see that your savings have grown and the next thing you have to do is to remind yourself is that it’s not for leisure purposes.

You have to establish events and specific emergencies to which you can use the fund. Those specific should be written down, emergencies like hospitalizations, medications, calamities, are valid. What is not valid is fashion emergencies, sales emergencies, and other stuff. You have to go to a formal event but don’t have anything to wear? That’s not an emergency. Learn to prioritize.

GET AN INSURANCE

Not everyone has an insurance and that is just very unfortunate. Recently someone from the family was admitted in a hospital and our hospital bill went up to Php30,000 for a 4-day stay (medicines not included).

Thankfully, my mother is working in government and she have an insurance which reduced our bill to Php15,000~.

Most Filipinos still see that as a huge amount of money but we’re just still so thankful that our bill was almost cut into half.

I cannot stress enough how important insurance is for everyone. There’s a lot of insurance company out there and you have to be very carefully in choosing the type of insurance that you will avail. Always go for a company with a lot of types of insurance to choose from to fit your needs.

You might not know it yet but there’s a lot of different kinds of personalaccident insurance that you can choose from. If you can avail insurance already you may want to check this out.

VISIT YOUR DOCTOR REGULARLY

I am a firm believer of the saying ‘prevention is better than cure’ and to be honest there’s nothing wrong if you‘ll live by that principle.

I think the common misconception of every Filipinos is that regular checkup is a waste of money. I know not everyone can afford a physician visit on a regular basis but it is necessary. As mentioned above, you can get a small amount from your Emergency Fund if you really don’t have spare savings solely for checkups. Personally, I consider health and other related health issues as ‘emergency fund eligible’ because health should always be prioritized.

Earlier I shared with you that a family member was hospitalized recently and to be honest it could have been avoided if we were successfully encouraged and make her visit her doctor. Imagine, we paid P15,000 when the physician fee for checkup only costs around 300-500Php and maybe around 2,000Php for lab tests. My point is checkups are not a waste of money, they are prevention.

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Adulting

List where you can donate in line with the pandemic COVID-19 disease

By Teresa Gueco - March 17, 2020

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Lifestyle

Bachelor v Old Maid: The unspoken stereotyping of women's timeline

By Teresa Gueco - March 14, 2020

Lately, a realization keeps bugging me but I didn’t think it’ll bug me to the point of writing about it. But here it goes.

Lady-like.

I lost count how many times I heard and encountered that word in my existence. Even as a kid I keep hearing phrases and directions about how girls are supposed to act.

Keep your thighs together while sitting.

Make yourself presentable.

Don’t play outside too much.

Don’t go near boys all the time.

I’ll admit that I am one of those girls who followed suit without knowing why. They keep telling things like how a girl like me should act and move. If I’m being honest, there’s nothing wrong with that since they only want what they think best for me/us. What bugs me now is not knowing the answer to a question I haven’t been able to ask.

The question is why.

Why do I need to keep my thighs together while sitting when all the boys sits freely even in public transportation as if they own the vehicle? Manspreading.

Why can’t I stain my shirt when all the other boys have stains on them on a daily basis and people just disregard it because they are boys and it's normal?

Why can’t I play outside too much and why does scaring my legs feel like a heinous crime?

Why does being close to boys have different connotation?

Maybe it’s the jealous part of my brain but I would like to believe that it’s the part of my journey in seeking gender equality that brought me to this realization.

I remember this instance while I’m on my 5^th grade. It was lunch time and my classmates were out playing while some sat on this wooden desk outside our room. One of our subject teacher was talking to my classmates (for you to easily understand it let me tell you that I was not really part of the group our teacher was talking to, I was just near them) and they are somehow the popular ones and does good in class. Since I sat near them I heard our teacher told/predict that he is sure that the three of them will probably not be in a relation until after they finish studying (In Filipino, sigurado sya na hindi magbo-boyfriend yung tatlo) and they laugh and agree to our teacher. And then suddenly they noticed me and say ‘How about her?’ And then to my surprise, he said ‘Ah hindi din yan… hanggang high school.’ (Oh no she wouldn’t too… until high school.) And then they laugh… and I laugh with them too.

Why does people think that women have this specific timeline? Why are they so sure that a certain type of girl will be this and that? Are we pre-destined to our path or something?

As a woman during their teen years it seems a big deal getting in a romantic relationship but even bigger to conceive. People will eye you as if you’ve done something wrong, giving birth at an early age seems like a crime. They’ll eye you differently as if you are a dirt or something.

I have so much respect with teen moms. They fought battles no one will truly understand. They surpassed caring for themselves and the baby inside of their womb for 9 months mainly with side dish of dismayed people around them but they keep fighting even though some of them single-handedly took the responsibility alone.

And then lately I realized that people who are single now gets the pressure they did not sign up for. People’s attention is suddenly directed at them asking them why they are still single, when are they going be in a relationship, when are they getting married, and a lot more.

I feel like it’s unfair since men doesn’t really get that kind of attention that a lot of women is enduring. It seems like they see women as a fruit that can only be useful best at a certain time or period and when that period is over we’re mere laugh stock.

The society keeps on dictating us when’s the perfect time to get married or conceive as if the main purpose of being a woman is to be a mother and a wife when every person’s default pupose, regardless of gender and sex, is to be a good, caring, and loving human being regardless if you can raise a child or regardless of your marital and financial status.

Why do people think so highly of single men and called them 'bachelors' as if they have this superpower but thinks differently when it comes to the female counterpart, whom most of the time called as 'old maid'.

People, stop treating women as an investment and retirement plan factory. We will be who we want to be when we want it.

Respect everyone's timeline regardless of their gender.

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Life Update

How Season 13 Finale of Grey's Anatomy affected me

By Teresa Gueco - March 07, 2020

This post was written on December 2019

This is not your typical confession post that you’ll see in Buzzfeed or similar entertainment sites, this is me confessing about my life’s whatnot and how GA keeps on teaching me how life works.

I’m a Grey’s Anatomy fan but for the past two years I haven’t been able to watch the last two seasons. I know some people will say ‘is that still being a fan?’ among other things but I guess you can say anything as much as you want since I wouldn’t really argue about that.

Now that 2019 is ending I decided to watch season 13’s finale again, I thought it wouldn’t affect me that much since I already watch it and I already cried buckets but I was wrong, it still hits me.

The thing is, the first time I watch it it feels like an ending season. A dead-end road. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we were about to finish college that time.

In that episode, Edwards, one of my favorite characters that I’m very fond of, decided to quit, Meredith let Nathan go so that he can be with Megan, and then they introduced Maggie and Jackson’s relationship which means an end for Jackson and April’s.

It has a lot of ending, and it was my ending season.

Looking back now, I think the reason why I wasn’t able to watch past Season 14 episode 15 is because I was stuck and a line which resonates with me is the following dialogue between Edwards and a patient named Erin.

“So we’re stuck?”- Erin

“No. No, we’re not stuck. We are... We’re gonna sit right here and put this (blanket) over our heads, and we’re gonna be just fine, I promise you. Come on.” –Stephanie Edwards

“No. That’s pulling the covers over your head. My mom said when things get scary, you don’t do that. You turn on the light so the scary goes away.”- Erin

“But I am a doctor and I know that in this case this blanket is our best chance, okay?- Stephanie Edwards

After I graduated from college, I decided to put the blanket over my head to protect me. Despite the fact and knowledge that I’ll get suffocated eventually, I did it because it got scary. Life is scary but it got even more scary, so putting the blanket on was the only thing for me to do.

But after watching it the second time, this time right here, a new perspective came into view.

I realized that there might have been a lot of ending and a lot of letting go but it was not a lose battle.

Meredith let Nathan go because it was the right thing to do and it did not invalidate the memories they shared. Stephanie did not just throw away her profession, she didn’t quit, she look after herself and that is something not a lot of us can do. Only brave people can walk away from their comfort zones to look after themselves and see other things that life can offer.

Finally, after two years I realized that it’s a start of something. The burning of the fire of passion. A start perhaps.

Actually, for me it’s not entirely a ‘start’ for I’ve been in this journey too long and I don’t want to disregard the things I did and experienced in the past, may it be pain or happiness, and it’s not a do-over also.

I was able to see that despite the scary Edwards decided to face it and came out alive. She went head-on to the raging fire to get her key card, all burnt and damaged but alive, and she save that girl.

I want to be like Edwards. I want to get out and be saved, it doesn’t matter if I’m damaged or burnt as long as I make it alive and past life’s challenges, it’s okay.

Watching Dr. Bailey scolded Dr. Minnick about protocols and saying they were taught right by Dr. Webber feels good.

It feels like I am part of the original interns and that I was once taught by Dr. Webber. Seeing all the doctors sacrifice themselves made me re-think of all the things I did. Do I do things according to protocols like a human robot or can I still see past through protocols and do it because I know how to feel?

‘She is clinging to these procedures and protocols and cannot see when to let go in order to save the life of a patient, a child!’- Chief Bailey.

Maybe there were times where I was clinging on to protocols because I thought it was going to save me, to make things easy and get things done. And maybe the only thing that can save the child in all of us is knowing when to let go of those protocols. We have to let go of the voice that speaks inside our head and just feel.

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Life Update

'everyday' is my current life’s theme song

By Teresa Gueco - February 29, 2020

I haven’t told this to anyone before but I have a life’s theme song and recently I realized that it has changed, the old one still depicts some of my views and opinions but it does not really speaks to me in some level anymore.

My previous life’s theme song was Land Called Far Away by Colbie Caillat from her album Gypsy Heart. Yes, that song. If you knew it then you know that it is about being free of commitment and not being ready to be involved in any romantic relationship (dude, I’m still not haha) unlike other girls my age.

For me, it’s not about hating other girls who pursues relationship. It’s actually me knowing I have more things in my mind, more goals to achieve, and more decisions to make. That simple.

I was in college when I labelled it as my life’s theme song. I have so much in my plate at that time and it was like an affirmation saying I’m normal and doing the right thing. And yes, I’ve never been the princess type so there’s that as well.

Recently I realized a new song now represents my life’s standpoint more accurate than Land Called Far Away and it’s everyday by Jeremy Zucker from his stripped EP.

As I age, I gather that life can be a bitch and by being so I eventually became less hopeful and idealistic. I felt defeated in general. I’ve reached certain point in life where people think I should be proud of but I ended up feeding the hole inside me.

I was living, I earn money to pay bills, to buy what I want, but I was still a hot mess.

And then everyday gave me hope.

It answers my unspoken questions and questions my unspoken answers.

‘If love is the answer, what is the question?’ that line is one of the most highlighted lines from the song. And I agree, what’s the question? I’ve seen memes saying if you don’t know the answer to a question, just put love because loving can never go wrong but what’s the question?

The song lulls me and somehow affirms where I am right now. It gives me hope and tells me that everything is fine.

It open my eyes; that despite being flawed there are things that I deserve and I am worthy.

Life’s a choice we make.

This slump is temporary no matter how permanent it feels like. I know that I can alter this and can do more if I wanted to because I always have a say in my life.

It tells me that I am not lost. That despite my struggles in finding my way and failing at finding where I am supposed to be- I’m not really lost.

It tells me not to fell dejected when the things in front of me are not the things that I am hoping for. I just need to carry on, keep my head up, and continue moving because I will definitely be where I am supposed to be.

I’ll see brighter days.