It doesn’t matter when or where, pause if you need to.

By Teresa Gueco - February 10, 2019




There will be times in your life where you’ll freeze. It doesn’t matter when or where, heck it doesn’t even matter why, but it will come and that one thing is for sure.

For the past months I unconsciously embarks on a journey to a black hole. Not that illegal stuff you have in mind, just a phase of being void of everything. In a snap I saw myself spiraling down and losing my cool. How ironic since I am a ball of positivity to my friends and yet I got tired. I was Dory. One moment I keep telling people to keep on swimming, to find the current that will lead them to where they are supposed to be, and then next I forgot all about it. Amnesia Dory (Girl).

I forgot to swim or is it because I got tired of fighting the current? I don’t know but one thing is for sure… I let myself lurk in that hole. I stayed there and let myself see how other fishes swim above me. I see them do the things I wanted to do. I was just so tired of trying since I’ve been pushing myself to (almost) a breaking point.

Last year has been tough, and I was this supernova bright spirit at the end of the year, but I forgot that being a supernova is not really good as it is the last stage of a star’s life cycle. It will shine so bright and then it’s gone, just like what happened to my spirit. I have this ideal year ahead that overpowers all the darkness around me which comforts me, but then as the calendar shifts the light exploded and left  me nothing but dust.

As you can see, I’ve been in a writing hiatus for months now. And I only came to accept a realization I have some quite time now. It’s that I got scared. When I put up this site it is my vision to influence readers and give them thoughts which they can relate to in some levels. And I feel like I failed. When I unconsciously went down to a blackhole my thoughts are just not that coherent enough to write about. I stop writing because I know this is where I’m more flawed and real. And my reality now is not something I want to devour and talk to. I was okay until I wasn’t anymore.

Nothing brought me back to writing even if I tried to. I climbed a summit and surprisingly I didn’t get a single thought/realization during that 8-hour climb, just a much needed catch up with a great friend a break from everything else.


One thing I want to impart in this post is that despite being stuck in a black hole I realized things. I realized that I might have been at the end of a road or at the middle of a crossroad and I might have picked the wrong road but it’s okay. No matter what kind of vehicle I have with me, as long as I know and learn how to backpedal and turn I’ll make it through.  It has been a tough road and I need to rest even if it doesn’t seems to be the right place to rest.

To those who went down the same road, we’ll get to where we are supposed to be as long as you want to be there. It might take time and energy but we’ll get there. You don’t have to be brave all the time. You don’t have to figure it all out. You just have to be and know you.





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13 comments

  1. I great reminder. pauses are important to rest or to breathe. I did this one for work recently.

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  2. I agree that you should not force yourself to be where you don't want to be. Perhaps we get stuck or frozen for a reason...to reevaluate our direction?

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  3. Sometimes you need to be in a black hole to see the light... hope for the best

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  4. I agree, sometimes you need to be in a whole to take time to think things through and recharge

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  5. It is good to take a step back when overwhelmed or stuck to really think through what to do next. Think about where you want to go and what you want to be.

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  6. I think in our society, we can feel guilty if we’re not always going forward. It’s totally okay to just stop, pause and look around. Be in the moment.

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  7. I've been through that and it was not easy. I felt like I was failing all the people around me. But yes, pause if you must.

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  8. Taking a pause or break isn't bad, on a contrary this is an opportunity to relax and many ideas suddenly comes in. Plus it is good for our mental health and being.

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  9. I'm sorry you have gone through a difficult time, but good for you for learning what you could from the situation. This reminds me of a quote, something like, it's always darkest just before a breakthrough.

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  10. Agreed! when needed a pause is required. It always helps you to focus on come out of a mess quickly.

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  11. I like your use of driving and peddling as imagery to show your emotional experience and state of mind. I'm glad you found your way back from the brink.

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  12. I definitely agree with that. I believe when things get too overwhelming, stopping for a while can really help us think our options through and take the best decisions.

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