Why it's not safe for girls
I always say this and I’ll say it again, I grow up as an
independent woman, and I’m friends with great women as well. I celebrate individuality
and I advocate for women. Through the years I was surrounded by great and
fierce females, starting from my very lovable (and sometimes strict) Lola and
always strict and fierce Mama.
Growing up, I never experienced disadvantage being a woman.
Maybe it’s because we’re most girls in the family (Lola, Mama, 5 girl siblings,
and Papa) and so there are no issue of inequality in terms of gender inside our
home. Aside from my Grade 1 crying experience because of my male classmate who often
kicks my chair (just to annoy me, it’s just subtle tho), which got him a spank
because I tattled out, I can’t remember having similar issues that’s worth
noting of.
You see, woman discrimination is a common and serious issue
that we face but I never felt the weight of it firsthand because of my
upbringing and the people I’m surrounded with. I hope this sounds not too
braggy but when you are surrounded with fierce and confident women who knows
their worth and gives you strength to believe, you started to feed it too
inside you. You absorb it until it becomes part of you, and then you are one of
them already.
When someone catcalled you the first thing you would want to
do (if you can’t help your outburst) is to punch them in the face and kick
their guts while muttering words I-shall-not-put-into-words-in-here and not
being like a scared kitten (I know this is not applicable to all cases but if
it’s applicable then it is right to hope to expect this kind of reaction).
I remember a colleague hang for her dear life on me right
after a party we attended that ends at 8:30PM. I was about to go to SM that
time and she asked me what path I’m going to take, I said I’ll take the
overpass, she then asked me whom I am with and I said just me.
I don’t know but I am shocked by her reaction and on what
she said.
‘Hindi ka ba natatakot? Anong oras na atska mag-isa ka. Ako
kasi natatakot, diba yung sa Manila…’
I don’t know where I’ll be more concerned. The fact that she
is some years older than me and yet she’s scared or the fact that I personally
find it weird to be scared in that early hour.
I don’t know about you but I think you don’t get to scare
people easily who are accustomed in going home past midnight and sometimes walk
some blocks after a tiring school project and school activity to their home
since there are no available tricycle because everyone is already sleeping.
On the same day, I happen to have watched a social
experiment online of a girl waiting for someone along the streets of Manila. On
the experiment she got hit by 4 out of 5 drivers who urged her to come with
them and even offered her some money in exchange for her ‘service’, only one
driver asks her if she’s okay and told her to keep safe and just book a taxi
instead.
This social experiment reminded me of the line HER BODY, HER
CHOICE. Today, most people think that it’s all about how the woman dress up or
act. And I find it unfair, because in the video the lady was well dress and
covered and yet she got unwanted male attention just by what, standing beside
the street?
And just as we thought that we had it all, people then start
saying things that degrades people who bears ovaries and fallopian tubes.
What’s worse is that people with authority whom we expect to neutralize the
issue just added salt to the wound.
Man are tougher. Women
are built for home. Women can’t fight a war because they are not built for it
.
Oh man, I wish all our unsung Filipina warriors visit you in
your sleep and fight you. Yes, warriors. In plural form.
The main problem and the key to solve this all is to educate
people. Tell women that they can be whoever they want to be and tell men that
women are not their enemies!
Not built for wars? Then train them, educate them, mold
them. They were not train because you keep on worshipping this patriarchal
system that has been outdated by newer systems.
When a man cheat you’ll often hear that they have needs that
must be satisfied, never mind the needs and feelings of his partner. They don’t
take it as their mistake but rather an incompetence of the woman they are with.
It’s all about being macho for guys- most guys. But it’s a
very different issue when it comes to woman.
A known personality was degraded because she had an affair
with her driver. The issue was used to criticize and destroy her image. She was
called names and her capability to lead was tainted with the fact that she had
an affair with her driver. Of all the things they threw at her the most
damaging is her being called a homewrecker.
If it’s a man it will not have gotten the same intensity she
had because, surprise, man are macho and they have needs.
Don’t hinder girls who wants to dress rather teach people to
respect them. If we can just live and teach people how to respect one another
without the bias of gender, nationality, race, and religion then this issue
will be over.
To the boys, I know (and really hope) that there are still
someone out there who are good and who respect woman and I know reading this
might hate me but we can’t deny that this is happening. Discrimination and gender-bias
moments still happen. I don’t say all man are like this, that’s why I use most,
and you have the power to eliminate this kind of issues for your future
daughters and female loved ones.
For the ladies out there, just a reminder that people will
not spoon feed the empowerment we have been asking for too long. It’s us who
will have to get and demand it from them so that when the next time two man
eyed you while warming up just before your jogging routine you can also just
stare straight at them back and trust me, because I did it, it’s funny how
liberating it feels to make them feel squeamish just by doing that little
thing.
Until people are uneducated of their rights and their worth nobody can be safe from the power of the people they think higher than them.
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