Life Update: What am I doing now?




I can’t remember the last article about my life- the ongoing stuff about my life- so I decided to make one. To be honest, I think my subconscious is just too tired of collecting a single powerful thought/topic out of the fragments I get while riding PUJs, taking shower, or while walking home. One moment I have this topic about dreams and then the next about society, and some other topic that I can’t put into writings so you just have to make do with what I have in here.


For the past months I’ve been at my lowest in terms of productivity. I go to work, eat, sleep, wake up, and then repeat. I was able to do things but I don’t feel productive unlike when I was in college. I feel like I don’t have my life’s leash, like I left it somewhere else. That feeling lingered for quite some time until I became too desperate that even I pity myself for being like that.


It was all of a sudden, one morning I grab a leggings and an extra tshirt and then the next thing I know is that I was heading to the nearest park of my office to jog. The first is always the hardest, that’s what they always say and I guess they are right. Prior to my first jog I already planned to run weeks before but I can’t make myself to do it because I keep second guessing. The first time was plain terrifying. Only some knew this because I don’t usually say this out loud, because I’m working on it on my own, but I have anxiety problems with people. You might see me as this friendly gal but deep inside my thin bone marrow is a scared and shy girl who hates spotlight and strange crowd. On my first run I got skeptical because it’s still a bit sunny so people can easily see and recognize me, plus the fact that there are bystanders around the park who eye every runner that passes by, and because I’m plain shy.


So instead forcing myself to do 5 laps on my first attempt, I conditioned myself with warm up exercises and decided to take just 2 laps and an ascend/descend exercise with the stairs for 20 times. Girl, I know it’s like a baby step but I might be on a baby body too for not being physically active for almost a year. When I feel like my lung is burning I took a rest and just sit.


The second time is also a pain because I have to remind myself that I need to do it. I need to continue what I started. And thankfully I did it, with 2 laps and more side dish exercises. And then came the third run. I’m beyond thankful that I got back to jogging because I already feel the difference. Before the jogging decision I noticed that I am easily tired but just after 3 run I felt something different. I now can run for 3 laps with short breaks. And on my fourth run I did 5 laps run, total of 3mins chair squat (not really sure what you call it, will research), 10 ascend/descend stair, 20 reps lunge jump, and stretching (lol).


So Thet, what’s the gist? Are you telling us to run and be fit? Do you think it’ll float our boats?


Yes, I think people should try to better their lives but it’s still yours to decide how. Will it float your boat? That, I’m not sure. We are different and so our needs will also be different.


What I’m trying to say is that this is my way to redeem myself. That I was able to say ’At last, I have something I’m in control of. Something little, but something I did and should be proud of.’ And I think you should too.


For the past few months, it’s been a super bumpy ride and I know this is just a small ray of sunshine but nonetheless it’s still a ray of light, and that is something we should celebrate.


You don’t need to have control with the major events in your life because one tiny activity is enough to make you thrive and reach that second step higher.

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