5 THINGS I LEARN IN 2021- (www.shesaidgoforit.com)

2021 was a year of growth for me, I’ve said it in my post, and while I’m not in my greatest state in 2021, I’ve learned vital lessons that I will continue to have in the coming years. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned in 2021.


2021 was a year of growth for me, I’ve said it in my post, and while I’m not in my greatest state in 2021, I’ve learned vital lessons that I will continue to have in the coming years. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned in 2021.


IT’S HARD TO BE SORRY AND BE APOLOGETIC, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT ANYWAY

In 2021, I learned this the hard way. I keep telling other people to say thanks and be grateful to other people but I realized that being apologetic is harder but equally important.


I’ve been in a couple of situations where my emotions got the best of me and I acknowledge my lapses. Again, I have to be clear that although I am not proud of my actions, my emotions are valid.


I can’t speak for all but I know for a fact that the majority of us were raised in a household where we don’t resolve arguments, we just let it pass by, and slowly it’ll resolve on its own. And we somehow brought it with us no matter where we went. And then slowly people who were in an argument will talk with each other again, and arguments will be put to rest without bringing it up.


But letting it resolve on its own is hard and unfair. Unfair because it is harder to forgive someone who is not sorry and apologetic for the things that they’ve done, worst they don’t even know what they did wrong.


So if you want to be forgiven, you must be sorry first. For you to be sorry, you must realize your mistake. To realize what your mistake was, you must acknowledge that you did something wrong.


The next time you’ll be in an argument or fight, take a moment to analyze your emotions. Your emotions are valid but try to see if you are the one who inflicted that on yourself and other people. If you are the reason, have the courage to say sorry. And if you’ve been wronged, I can’t blame you for holding a grudge, after all, it’s hard to forgive someone who is not apologetic.


IF I WANT MORE, I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT MORE MUST COME FROM MYSELF AS WELL

I’ve read this book by Megyn Kelly and the lines are just so powerful that they can knock you off your feet. A line that struck me like a lightning was,


“As I changed myself for the better, better things started coming to me. I was settling for more. And “more” meant more from myself. I was settling for more, and more meant ‘more’ from myself. 


Another hard-hitting line from her book was,


“The only difference between you and someone you envy is, you settled for less.”


Most of the time we expect too much from other people without checking if we’ve given ourselves the same thing that we are expecting to receive. It shouldn’t be like that. We must learn how to be accountable for the things we want and hope to pursue.


I asked myself, am I not doing my 100% best so that if I fail I can say that it’s because I didn’t give my all and that I can still redeem myself? I won’t lie, I might have been. I might have been too scared to fail at my 100% best at times.


But I must be accountable now. Being able to acknowledge this realization is a win, and now I need to do more.


I WAS EXPECTING MORE FROM MYSELF, BUT NOT MUCH FROM THE PEOPLE AROUND ME

2020 was the year of healing for me. I cover myself from self-love, I still do, and in 2021 there was a time where I thought that maybe I am nurturing myself too much. I was hard on myself.


I held myself accountable for being available to other people and when I was being short for myself, I had no one to blame but me.


In 2021, I realized how gullible I was. How other people used my kindness for their own good and left me hanging, I was so disappointed.


I know my worth, and my kindness shouldn’t be used against me. I must draw a line and say no to people. 


PROTECT YOUR PEACE

I cannot stress this enough. As someone who has lots of thoughts, I get anxious too and feel shy around people. I refrain from posting on social media because it makes me anxious. I don’t want to feel braggy or mahangin. I even jump ship and hide from socmed, I created another medium to express myself where only a few know me.


For me, 2021 was running away from the things that make me anxious, and socmed is one of them. I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do, but it was right that time for me to protect my peace.


I even curated my feed, consciously liking food related posts and news-worthy content for algorithm purposes, funny how I used AI to feed me what I wanted to see and not the other way around.


I guess I’m vulnerable because I know how bad the glitz is for my peace, but strong enough to take conscious effort to protect my peace from it.


BEING BUSY DOESN’T MEAN BEING PRODUCTIVE

I’ve learned this the hard way. I wasn’t productive and unconsciously I took on small projects and engagements that filled my calendar, in the process I put the important things at the back of my mind. I was busy, sure, but I was not productive.


Being busy is very much different from being productive. I can be productive without being busy, and I can be busy without being productive.


I decided I must take a conscious step if I want to fix this. No more impromptu plans, no more taking on tasks or small favors that will put the important things at bay.


I have this cardboard in my room with the line “What you are not changing, you are choosing.” And this 2022, I’m choosing the better version of myself. Yes, still with flaws and all but better nonetheless.



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