Tales of being broke and the lesson I learn

I grow up in a family where money is not something to play around with since we’re a big family. We grew up getting only the necessary things and saving the remaining for future expenses. I grew up in a simple life and that made me realized that money shouldn’t be wasted on things that are not necessary, and so I became thrifty.

I became thrifty not because I have so much to spare but mainly because of Lola who keep asking me where I spend the small amount of money she gives when she gets her pension (she gives me 100 pesos every month back then lol) and then when I tell her that I only have twenty pesos left, or even coins, she’ll give me this disappointed look and will lecture me to save for myself as she knows that we are not rich. At a young age it was instilled in me that saving is not something you can do for leisure, it’s something you have to do as to be prepared for life and emergency. And all of that learnings paid off.

Savings made me more comfortable and confident especially when I was in college since we tend to have some unexpected expenses that need to be taken care of. During my schooling, it’s kind of hard for the whole family since we are two who are both studying in college at the same time together while our youngest is in grade school. I applied for a scholarship grant that gives allowance and I saved those as to not ask for money from my parents for some projects since the degree I took was already known for being expensive.

If I am being honest right now I’m not sure if it’s a good thing anymore, well at least part of it. Saving is really helpful and a must for everyone since there is nothing permanent in this world. It’s just that I started getting anxious when my savings go low beyond a specific amount and I tend to see things under a peso sign. I’m not saying I became ‘mukhang pera’ but more likely I based by decisions where I can still have a good amount of money under my sleeves, it started to feel like saving is a safety net.

I’ll admit that lately, I’ve been a spender and it’s not something I’m proud of but still wants to share. I think it has something to do with the fact that I feel deprived of the things I wanted while growing up- material things- and now that I am working I can finally have the things I wanted because I know that I am working and I have my own salary to spend with.

It went out of hand if you’ll base it on my standards. I depleted my savings and ruin my savings plan that I was following. Well, to be fair I think I’ll have those spending spree a pass since I’ve been stress out lately and I realize that it serves as a treat for myself.

People need a break and pampering too!

On the other hand, despite myself not wanting to condemn herself, I think I reached a point where my reasoning feels like an excuse which is not justifiable.

I cannot treat myself every time I feel like it. I can’t eat out a few times a week just because I feel tired when part of the reason I am tired was that I binge watch from Netflix and kill time on social media!

I can’t have subscriptions to a lot of entertainment platforms for my entertainment when I don’t use them that often!

It’s not that I don’t want it but more because I can’t manage it as it is leaning more to being bad. I want myself to realize that getting a treat doesn’t always mean you have to spend a lot! Take a rest and have fun if you must but live within or even below your means!

 

Don’t waste your future by being irresponsible in the present.