AMIGA, IT'S OKAY TO BE AWKWARD

By Teresa Gueco - January 06, 2018

Baguio City, Benguet



“I don’t even find him creepy at all.” Giving her friend a stare saying ‘You are the one who is creepy here, dude.’

Growing up surrounded with female species I find it too hard to break the ice around guys. I have limited guy friends that I can really count on and that list can be counted with my bare hands (almost half are gays by the way). Maybe it’s because I grew up with 5 girls as my siblings, a strict and traditional parents, and a grandma who always starts her story with ‘Noong panahon namin…’ (During our days…) so talking and befriending guys were a bit off for us (me).

I can say that I am independent, I do things my own. I took my High School entrance reading and written test without being accompanied by my parents, I kinda hitched with my friends back then. I processed my college admission requirements on my own (and with my friends again), lined up and paid my tuition fees, I can do most of the things on my own. I can even freaking watched movies and eat afterwards alone in the malls. Totally psycho? No, I just love how I can do the things the way I wanted it to be.

I never knew I was so independent until I realized how my social skills falter little by little.

I don’t find cheesy line cheesy, I find it creepy.

I don’t find people checking up on me sweet, I find it stalker-y.

I don’t find people asking what I was doing conversationally appealing. I find it like they are minding business they shouldn’t mind.

It’s just… not my jam.

I heard people rant and say how people have high standards and all, that they should lower their standards or otherwise they’ll end up alone. I think it’s a petty excuse and advice given by those people who are with someone just because they are scared to be alone.

Settling for less? And then what? How many times have I read and heard stories of unfortunate relationships just because they thought they were the one for each other?

Amiga, just because everyone around you is with someone doesn’t make you a lone wolf.

It’s okay to feel irate if you find his ‘palipad hangin’ (I don’t even know what that is in English, sorry) off. No need to feel bad if you can’t reply back, or even if you don’t want to reply, because you don’t know what to say!

You see, independent people don’t necessary need people to check on them. They know when to breathe, take a rest, and even eat. I beg to differ that they are awkward because some just strike a conversation the wrong way.

People, you don’t have to conform to the society. Just because K-Pop Boybands are in doesn’t mean liking Backstreet Boys and N’ Sync is bad and wrong! (90s music rocks!!) You just have to see things in a different perspective. Give yourself a break for being awkward and independent, let’s not think about how things should and should not be rolling.

Embrace it.

Be awkward, independent, and happy!



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