“A goal without a plan
is just a wish.” –Antoine Sains-Exupery
When I was a junior in college I remember that I made this
mental breakdown of where I’ll be years from that time. I decided that after I
graduate college, I’ll find a job and save 2 years and enroll myself for my
second degree, I still haven’t figured out what to take but I know specifically
a field that I want to be.
Fast forward to the present, can you believe that it’s almost 2
years after I graduated from college and that means based on my mental plans I
only have months to go before I enroll myself in another program.
But look where I am now.
Of course, my plan hasn’t changed at all it’s just that for
the past months I’ve been beating myself too much. I was this optimistic human
being who is excited about her life’s next chapter but I was slacking off. I was
flowing through life and now I realized that I haven’t plan anything at all.
As Antoine Sains-Exupery would say, it’s just a wish until I
create a plan. It’s not enough to have a goal and a timeline, what matters most
is your plan. You need to have your plan laid out and have back up plans when
things didn’t work out the way you want it to be.
I think the fault was on me. I was so eager to be a certain person
that I forgot to be at the present and plan my future. I did plan my future but
the structural plan on how to achieve the future that I wanted to have wasn’t
done, it wasn’t even half done.
I guess I was accustomed to the fact that all throughout
my growing years I am a follower of curriculums and the fact that I will be
where I am meant to be, only means that I'm doing good in class.
When you are studying you
have a goal, whether it’s to be a Latin awardee or to graduate on time, and it
is by default instilled on us that in order to get those goals you have to do
good and passed the needed requirements.
But everything is different after you’re done with college.
I had a conversation with a friend about this and I am not
sure if I will be happy or feel sad that she actually feels the same way as I
did. I realized that I was slacking off mainly because I feel like I have all
the time in the world. There’s no more deadlines (in terms of personal growth,
this doesn’t apply to work tho) and no more push to make you do things
urgently. No more midterms or finals that will require you to learn the ins and
outs of a certain program, no more output that will require you to carry a camera
and use the technical knowledge you were taught by your profs, and yes no more
critique that will correct your essays.
There are no more training wheels, we are on our own now. And
I think the past months were the hardest part because we’re unsure about
everything around us.
I somehow stop paddling and I eventually stop, and after
some time waiting for that push I realized that I only have myself now. It was
hard and if I’m being honest I think I haven’t moved forward that much for I’m
still struggling to feel my feet and steady myself.
I may not be a good rider and I may not have improved that
much but one thing I’m sure, or at least I want to believe, is that I’m
stronger and I know better now. Of course, I’m still picking up the mess or
rather I’m still struggling to get past my mess and my clouded decisions from
the past but I now know that creating a timeline does not equate to success.
Just because you created a fool-proof timeline does not
guarantee that you’ll achieve your goal. What matters most is that despite all
the setbacks you are still there wanting and fighting no matter how small the
voice inside you, no matter how small your hope is.
It’s not bad to have a timeline, just remember that it’s not
enough and that no matter how high or low your goal is the thing that you
really need is a plan.
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